If Donald Trump did the Summer 2026 World Cup, they would “be the greatest ever” – and whether it is or not, he’ll mould the games into his life’s crowning glory. That’s because to the US President, our ‘soccer’ tournament’s estimated record global audience of six billion will feed his ravenous ego the fawning feast it constantly craves.

To put the games into context, last summer’s inaugural Club World Cup final in New Jersey, where Chelsea beat Paris Saint-Germain (PSG) 3-0, was watched by over one billion viewers. Fans were not stunned to see President Trump hand over the golden disc trophy – but the sporting world was baffled when, instead of quietly exiting stage right, he stayed front and centre to celebrate with the winning team.

Chelsea players are no strangers to Russian or American billionaires sharing their triumphs, but even they were perplexed as confetti cannons and fireworks exploded, and Trump remained glued to the trophy for every camera shot.

That shameless photobombing was for one billion viewers.

The 2022 World Cup final between Argentina and France, in which Lionel Messi finally lifted the trophy, drew a staggering 1.5 billion viewers worldwide.

Across that entire tournament, FIFA estimates that around five billion people tuned in at some point.

That’s more than the Olympic Games, more than the Super Bowl, and more than any other global sporting spectacle.

With the 2026 World Cup taking place across the United States, Canada and Mexico and featuring a record 48 teams and 104 matches, audience figures are expected to climb even higher.

FIFA president Gianni Infantino has already likened next summer’s World Cup to having “104 Super Bowls in one month.”

He gushed: “The Super Bowl, which is fantastic, has what, 120–130 million viewers? The World Cup has six billion.”

And that’s not all; Trump is almost certain to be handed an inaugural ‘Fifa Peace Prize’ by Infantino on or around Friday’s afternoon’s glitzy World Cup draw in Las Vegas.

Infantino and Trump are a sickening love-in, and their egos mutually massage each other.

They will be laughing and sticking up their thumbs and grinning like Cheshire Cats. Infantino is a moth to the flame of global power.

Friday’s draw is hosted by supermodel Heidi Klum and comedian Kevin Hart and features performances by Andrea Bocelli, Robbie Williams and Nicole Scherzinger.

Bringing down the curtain will be Village People, singing the “Make America Great Again” (MAGA) Trump anthem “YMCA,” which last topped the charts when FIFA was holding the draw for the 1978 World Cup in Argentina.

It is easy to forget that many of next summer’s World Cup games will also be played in Canada, whose border Trump tried to erase, and Mexico, whose border he has increased with an enormous wall.

I’m sure they will both reluctantly roll out the red carpet for him, which will match his tie.

But you know what? Perma-tanned Trump won’t care. Although he has the memory of an elephant, his orange skin is thicker than a rhinoceros.

He’s the guy you dread speaking to at a party, for fear you’ll never shake him loose.

The businessman, entrepreneur and now twice-president is first and foremost a salesman – but it goes far deeper than that.

Ask Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky how he now handles Trump after that disastrous ambush at the White House in February, all for failing to grovel and repeatedly thank the 47th President of the USA.

Now, despite Trump meekly carving up his country and serving it on a platter to Putin, Zelensky is watching his every word and is sure thanking Trump a lot.

Then ask Putin how he handles ‘The Donald’, and I bet nasty old Vladimir also pours on the praise like gravy over mum’s overcooked Christmas turkey.

Trump’s ego is insatiable, and like that turkey, you may find it novel on December 25th, but after a few days, you’ll be sick of the sight of it and be hankering for a sizzling curry.

So imagine Trump’s glee at hosting the world’s biggest EVER sports event for five whole weeks? He’ll be shameless, he’ll be everywhere.

It will be the polar opposite of ‘Where’s Wally?’ It will be ‘Where isn’t Donald?’