Nature is healing. England have ditched the ‘woke’ St George’s Cross that clung to the back of their previous kit like a bloodsucking, politically correct tick. The 2026 World Cup strip has arrived, and guess what? Nike have finally decided that patriotism on a national shirt isn’t such a regressive sin after all.

The mutilated purple-and-blue St George’s flag has been tossed in the incinerator where it belongs. In its place? The words “happy and glorious.” It’s a return to tradition so refreshing it feels like a cold pint after three weeks of forced kale smoothies. Let’s be honest: Nike’s 2024 attempt to – and this is a genuine quote of theirs – “unite and inspire” by tinkering with the national emblem was about as unifying as a loud fart in a crowded lift. It was a petty, cowardly act of virtue-signalling from a brand that is clearly as averse to the English flag as Tottenham are to winning football matches.

They thought they could ‘reimagine’ our national identity to appease the chattering classes – the type of people who think the St George’s Cross is a “far-right” dog whistle and that patriotism is as problematic as Robert Sanchez on any given Saturday afternoon.

It’s a logic of pure, unadulterated brain-rot. Claiming the flag is “controversial” because some unsavoury types wave it is like saying the Manchester United badge is a symbol of mediocrity just because they’ve been rubbish for a few years.

If you dared to complain back then, you were instantly branded a gammon or a bigot. Apparently, wanting your national flag to actually look like your national flag makes you a prehistoric relic. It was a classic piece of metropolitan hypocrisy. “It’s all about inclusion, guys… but as for you knuckle-dragging patriots, you can sit down and shut up!”

But the most shocking part of this entire saga isn’t that England have finally hit the ‘pause’ button on their virtue-signalling, BLM-kneeling, flag-butchering panto. It’s that Sir Keir Starmer – a man who changes his principles more often than Ben White changes his tanning bulbs – actually managed to get a decision right.

For once, the man who usually spends his time oscillating between positions like a Pep Guardiola full-back stood his ground on something that actually mattered to the public and not just to his loony, terrorist-sympathising backbenchers.

“The flag is used by everybody, it’s unifying, it doesn’t need to change,” Starmer said in an unprecedented display of common sense after the kit was launched. “We just need to be proud of it. So they should reconsider this and change it back. I’m not even sure they can properly explain why they thought they needed to change in the first place.”

Don’t get me wrong, Starmer is still a human flip-flop. But credit where credit’s due. He found his inner Englishman buried deep beneath the layers of wishy-washy bureaucratic sludge.

It’s a miracle of biblical proportions. It suggests that deep down, there might be a microscopic shred of good sense, of sound judgement, of unabashed moral courage.

If even a man as hopelessly beige as Keir Starmer can see that you don’t mess with the St George’s Cross, then it demonstrates just how absurdly Nike, the FA and everyone else who clapped this nonsense on were drunk on their own performative sanctimony.

The return to a traditional kit, emblazoned with the lyrics of our national anthem, is a victory for the fans who refused to be told that their patriotism was problematic. It’s a reminder that the England shirt belongs to us, not to some marketing consultant in a turtleneck who thinks “heritage” is something you buy at an artisan bakery.

We’re heading to the World Cup with a flag that is red and white, and a message that is “happy and glorious.” For the first time in a while, it feels like the adults are back in the room – even if one of them is Keir Starmer.