Sarah Ferguson once described herself and Prince Andrew as the “happiest divorced couple in the world”. And with good reason. Turns out they were both living in super-posh gaffs, rent-free, saving an estimated £260,000-a-year… which they presumably could then spend on whatever it is that rich, over-privileged types spend that sort of money on. Transatlantic trips to see their best mate Jeffrey Epstein maybe? Who knows?

Anyway, it’s fair to say the royal formerly known as Prince (almost) has been under a little pressure recently. Poor lamb. But then it’s fair to say too that Andrew has done more to discredit, sully, and potentially bring down the British monarchy than any man since Cromwell.

Seriously, he’s becoming a real threat to the authority of the British Crown and indeed Britain’s reputation in the wider world.

It boggles the mind to consider that this oddball chap with his questionable life-choices is still eighth in line to the throne of the England.

I mean, we’ve had some weirdos in that chair over the centuries but blimey.

Honestly, as a news hack I used to talk with the guys from the pressure group Republic when I needed an anti-royal point of view, as they are openly dedicated to ending the monarchy. But I think they can put their feet up for a bit right now, as our very own Duke of Hazard is doing a far better job of that than they could ever dream.

Andrew, remember, was until recently on the Civil List and had his lavish lifestyle funded by the hard-earned ackers of me and thee.

Now, at 65 years old, he embarrassingly still gets pocket money. Admittedly that pocket money is £1 million a year and it reportedly might have just dried up, but still.

We are told further that it may have dried up because King Charles wants Andrew and Fergie to finally vacate the 30-bedroom Crown Estate home, known as the Royal Lodge, where they have been living in for two decades.

And it seems the pair have agreed in principle but … you knew there was a but coming didn’t you?… they want TWO homes in return.

Privileged? Moi!?

Andy, we are told, is demanding Harry and Meghan’s former Windsor pad Frogmore Cottage while Fergie, 66, is lining up nearby Adelaide Cottage after William and Kate leave next month.

Apparently a friend of the pair said: “No one is really sure how it’s going to go down at the Palace yet.”

Well I can tell you how it’s going down on the Clapham/Preston/Newcastle/Glasgow omnibus – like the archetypal mug of cold vomit I’m afraid.

Thing is, what do we do with a problem like Prince Andrew in our snowflake age where beheadings have been ruled out as not diverse enough or something?

Robert Jenrick has accurately pointed out the British public are “sick of him” and he is an embarrassment to his family and the UK.

But his suggestion Andrew should just “disappear” is typically lacking in detail.

Royal writer Tina Brown has better suggested Andrew see out his days on a Dubai golf course lest his “scowly, jowly visage keep seeping back into the national consciousness”.

My thoughts? I don’t suppose we could add him to Starmer’s “one-in-one-out” list could we? It has to be good for something.